Vintage Talk Radio – episode 04
How to have good manners
Men’s manners toward Women
The whole code of manners toward a woman is based on the assupmtion that she belngs to to a weaker sex, with frailer muscles and more delicate sensibilites. To what extent this is true is a matter for physiologists and psycholotists. The man who wants to have god manners should refrain from trying to prove that a woman can open a heavy dor just as efficiently as he can. Men traditionally accord women certain marks of respect, and though the disappeearance of hobble skirts and breath-dfying corsets has obliterated the reasons for some of these courtesies, the courtesies are still accepted as part of the code of a gentleman.
Talking about women
A well-mannered man does not talk about his conquests. He does not, in fact, say anything about a woman which would give others a questionable opinion of her integrity or morals. Most men automatically accord this courtesy to their wives or sweethearts, but they may be less respectful about a woman whose relationship with them is more casual. Locker-room bull sessions about women are poor manners.
A well-mannered man avoids touching a woman unnecessarily. In helping a lady down from a bus or over an icy sidewak, a certain amount of touching is necessary, but in ordinary conversation, patting on the shoulder or squeezing the arm is wholly unnecessary. The line between friendliness and pawing is a very fine one.
Making a woman conspicuous
A well-mannered man does nothing to make a woman conspicous in public. He doesn’t talk loudly or intimately with her, or call her name aloud across a lobby. If you want to hail a friend across the street, cross and catch up with her so you can do so without announcing her name to the whole block.
Walking with a woman
In general, a man walks on the curb side of the street, although this is no longer a rigid rule, nor is it necessary to shift constantly back and forth. In walking with two women, a man should keep to the curb side to avoid turning his back on one while talking to the other. – A man always opens a door for a woman, and hold it for her to go through. In the case of a revolving door, he starts it off with a push, and then lets her precede him. – A man carries packages or suitcases for a woman. ( Most men in an uniform are not supposed to carry packages, but this isn’t strictly observed.) – A man holds an umbrella over both the woman and himself. – A man does not offer his arm to a lady in the daytime unless she is very old or or the ground is very slippery, or in crossing a busy street. He may, however, offer his arm when walking at night. There is no need to clutch a woman’s elbow going up and down curbs, unless there is a lot of water in the gutter or some other difficulty. A man should never take a woman’s arm, but should, if the circumstances warrant it, offer her to his arm. – If it is necessary to go single file down a theatre aisle or in a train, for example; the man lets the woman go first unless there is some reason for him to lead the way ( such as having to open heavy doors. )
Kissing in Public
There’s nothing wrong with kissing a woman you’re meeting or leaving in public, but be sure that it’s a public sort of kiss. Long and passionate kissing is better done in private.
Courtesies at the table.
A man holds a woman’s chai’r for her when she sits down at the table and then ea ses (not shoves) it in until she is comfortably placed. This should apply to your wife and teen-ége daughters, too. – A man always sees that a woman is served first. That is, if the gravey bowl is passed to you, offer it to the lady next to you before serving yourself.
Paying for things.
It used to be ironclad rule that a man paid for practically everything when he was with a waoman. This has been modif_ieed considerably, and now there are manty occaisions when expenses are split or are paid by the woman-among young people who have agreed to this arrangement in advance, or in certain business situations. In general, however, when you have asked a womane to a social lunch, or to the movies, you pay for everything – transportation, tickets, food, drink and tips. In the case of when a woman has asked you somewhere, to a dance or to the theatre for instance, she pays for the tickets (usually in advance), but you take care of the transporation and a snak or drinks later. A casual meeting with a woman acquaintance in a restaurant or subway entrance, however, does not make you liable for her lunch check or subway fare.
//End of Vintage Talk Radio – episode 04
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